Harry Potter and Everything After
by willowitaway
Summary: Harry's life is torn apart after a horrible accident. Will he recover with the help of his family and an old friend? My first story! I would like to thank Milly. Without you, there would be less commas!
1. Blood and Tears

**Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter........................NOT!! I'm just tinkering away with it ^_^**

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**Blood and Tears**

"Daddy?"

Harry Potter opened his eyes to see his young son, James, standing over him, blood and tears, mingled together, running down his face. Harry sat up quickly, trying to get a sense of his surroundings. The boy gave his father a relieved little smile.

"Jamie," Harry asked his son, "What happened?"

A whole new set of tears welled up in the emerald eyes of the boy. "Th-the car," was all Jamie managed to choke out before collapsing into his father's arms, sobbing. The boy raised a shaking hand and pointed to the side of the road where horribly twisted metal was wrapped around a large oak tree.

Harry felt his heart stop. He felt nauseous as he cradled his four year old son, trying to calm him. The memory of it all started to come back to him. Harry must have been thrown clean from the car. He was covered in cuts and scrapes, and his entire left side felt like it would be heavily bruised later, but other than that he felt fine. Harry checked to make sure Jamie wasn't seriously injured. Relief flooded Harry's veins when he found that his precious boy was alive and only slightly hurt. _He must have unbuckled his car seat._ Harry sat back, thankful that Jamie was with him. But, no, something seemed wrong, Harry couldn't place it. He needed to rememb_—Ginny!_ _Ginny was with us! Oh Merlin, no!_

Telling Jamie to stay put, Harry rushed over to the smoking pile of metal that was once a car, pulling his wand out of the pocket of his torn and bloodied robes as he did so. He reached the vehicle, peered inside the car, and felt his heart fall straight to the ground. The woman he loved was in the front seat. It was almost impossible to see into the passenger window because it was smeared with blood. She wasn't moving; she was trapped. Harry couldn't see a way to get his wife out of the car. Thinking quickly, Harry incanted a spell, intricately waving his wand. The passenger door was torn apart and thrown behind his back. Harry pocketed his wand again and started to pry Ginny out of the car. Harry carefully lay his unconscious wife on the ground and began looking for signs of life. She had a pulse! It was faint but definitely there. Ginny's thigh had a deep gash in it and was bleeding heavily. Harry quickly tore the sleeve off of his robes and bound it around her just above the wound. Satisfied that the blood flow had been staunched somewhat, Harry unconsciously ran his hands over Ginny's stomach. He shivered as he did so. Harry then called Jamie over. He gingerly picked Ginny up again, trying to shield his son from the sight of his mother's broken body.

"Jamie, we have to get mum to St. Mungo's quick! The healers can help, it'll be okay. Don't worry." Harry wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure the boy or himself. "Grab my arm tight, son! Don't let go no matter what!"

Jamie complied, wrapping both of his tiny arms around his father's much larger one. He pressed his small, dirty, tear-streaked face into Harry's robes and closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the picture in his head of his daddy, his hero, lying on the ground, covered in blood. Making sure his son was securely attached, Harry, turning on the spot, concentrated with all of his might on St. Mungo's and apparated with a loud crack that resonated throughout the quiet country highway.

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**A/N: So, there you go... My first chapter... I hope you like it!!! I'll update soon, please review!! ^_^**


	2. She Was Sleeping

**Disclaimer: Shall I compare me to J.K.? She art more wealthy and more...pirate? ^_^ No, I am not she, and she is not I... Ah but it would be so... *sighs dreamily*

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**Chapter Two: She Was Sleeping**

With a crack, Harry arrived at St. Mungo's, Ginny in his arms and Jamie in tow. Jamie refused to release the death grip he had on Harry's arm. It seemed in his distress, Harry had lost his ability to speak; he looked around helplessly at the crowded emergency room. A nurse spotted the young family and immediately flagged down the nearest healer. She conjured a floating gurney with a quick flick of her wand and proceeded to try and persuade Harry to lay his wife down. As the healer came rushing over, Harry gently placed Ginny on the gurney.

Picking up his son, Harry stepped back and simply stared at his wife's battered body. The healers hurried about giving orders to various nurses. Harry was quite worried when he saw blood pooling on the cot between Ginny's legs. He thought he had stopped the worst of the blood flow. Then Harry realized what he was seeing. He felt the color drain from his face and he swayed dangerously on the spot. Harry gaped at his wife's stomach. Harry moaned in agony at the thought of his unborn child.

The healer waved his wand over Ginny's swollen belly. "The baby's alive, but in distress. We need to get it out, now!" With that the healer pointing his wand at the gurney, moving toward the operating room with Harry and Jamie on his heels.

Father and son, however, were stopped at the door but a very determined looking nurse. "I'm sorry but you can't go in there."

Angrily, Harry glared at the witch, but saw the unwavering resolve, tinged with sympathy, in her eyes. He wilted under the gaze of the formidable woman and allowed himself to be steered towards a chair in the corner of the waiting room.

"Now," said the nurse, "is there anyone you need to contact about your wife?" Harry just looked at her blankly until he felt a small tug on his sleeve. Harry started and looked down at his son in his arms.

"Teddy," he whispered so quietly that it was almost impossible to hear. Harry froze. He had almost forgotten. Harry and Ginny had adopted his Godson, Teddy, two years before when his grandmother, Andromeda Tonks, had died. Currently, the boy was at Ginny's brother Bill's house playing with Bill's little daughter, Victoire. Harry needed to get Teddy here fast. He jumped up and ran to the fireplace, grabbed a pinch of powder, and shouted "Shell Cottage" into the opening.

Bill and Teddy happened to be nearby, and both smiled when they saw Harry's head appear in the fireplace.

"Dad!" Teddy squealed in delight, his hair turning from its natural sandy brown to bright turquoise. Teddy had called his Godfather 'Daddy' since he had begun talking. Harry had been concerned, not wanting to seem like he was taking Remus' place, but Andromeda had dubbed it as adorable, so Harry had accepted it. When Harry and Ginny brought Teddy into their home, Teddy had insisted on calling Ginny 'Mum,' "To make her even with you, daddy," the three year old had informed Harry seriously. Harry had smiled at the young boy's reasoning.

"Bill," said Harry, his voice wavering, "Bill, it's Ginny. She…We…I… There was an accident."

The color drained from Bill's normally cheery face, making his many freckles stand out in sharp contrast. Teddy's hair changed color again, this time to jet black.

"We were in the car… hit a tree, I don't know—Bill, it's bad. I need Teddy. Bill, will-will you tell… the family. They need to get to St. Mungo's. I don't know if she's gonna—" Harry's voice broke; he couldn't continue.

Bill snapped free of his trance, looking slightly green. "I'll tell mum." Harry nodded his thanks and pulled his head out of the fireplace. A moment later the flames were burning green as Teddy came into sight. Harry caught him up in a fierce hug as Teddy stumbled.

Harry brought Teddy over to where Jamie was sitting. Someone had given him two red lollipops and, wordlessly, he held the other out to Teddy. In a daze, Teddy took it and put it in his mouth. Harry sat down, and both boys climbed into his lap resting their heads on his shoulders.

It was not long until red-head after red-head began appearing in the waiting room. They rushed over to Harry and the boys, engulfing them in hugs, asking for news. Harry just shook his head and went back to brooding.

Why? Why had he insisted on taking the car to Shell Cottage to pick up Teddy? It would have been much easier just to floo or apparate. He just had to show Ginny that he could drive. His Uncle Vernon, in a strange act of kindness, had taught him with his cousin, Dudley, when they were sixteen years old. It was all Vernon's fault. Every problem Harry had had in his life traced back to his borderline abusive uncle! No, that was ridiculous. Harry hadn't even seen his uncle since he was seventeen years old. But whose fault was it? There had to be someone to blame. Dumbledore? He had certainly never made life any easier. But the man had been dead for almost six years. It had to be Snape. Snape had lived to make Harry miserable, but, no. Snape wasn't so vindictive. He had known all too well what it was like to lose their red-head. Besides, Snape was dead too. Voldemort? Dead. This wasn't working. Harry was running out of people to blame, unless, yes. It was his fault. There was no other explanation. If it wasn't for Harry, this wouldn't have happened to Ginny. She wouldn't be potentially dying in the next room.

George and Angelina were the first to arrive; both dressed in the bright orange robes that were the Weasley Wizard Wheezes uniform. Angelina sat on Harry's left and grabbed his hand. Harry looked up, trying to smile but failing miserably. Teddy wriggled off of Harry's lap in exchange for George's.

It was all Harry's fault, he was sure of it. If he hadn't been so bloody proud none of this would have happened. Why couldn't it have been him?

Harry was so wrapped up in his destructive thoughts that he didn't notice the arrival of his best friends, Ron and a very pregnant Hermione. Hermione sped over to him as quickly as her protruding stomach would allow with Ron right behind her looking pale. Hermione wrapped Harry in an awkward hug that was impeded by her stomach, but Harry didn't care. He clung to Hermione as if his life—or Ginny's life—depended on it. Hermione stepped back, and Ron immediately pressed his wife down into a chair across from Harry. They waited.

Harry's mind was running rampant. He was thinking of all the what-ifs. Harry's emotions were going haywire, ranging from extremely hopeful and trying to convince himself that Ginny hadn't looked that bad, to depression that there was no way either she or the baby could have survived. He and Jamie had just been lucky. Thank Merlin that Jamie was alright! Harry didn't know what he would do if he had lost Jamie.

They waited.

Harry's entire family surrounded him, taking up a large part of the waiting room. All of them, paler than usual, looked concernedly at their baby sister's husband as his emotions danced across his face, unable to remain hidden behind Harry's green eyes.

They waited.

Just this morning, Harry had kissed Ginny's stomach and felt his second child kick him in the face. Ginny had laughed at the shocked expression on his face. He had smiled and kissed Ginny tenderly joking about how the baby had no respect for its father.

They waited.

Jamie and Teddy had fallen asleep. Teddy still with his arms wrapped around his favorite uncle, George, and Jamie nestled in his grandmother's, Molly Weasley's arms.

They waited.

Harry looked closely at his and Ginny's first born. It had always seemed strange to Harry, and a little disappointing, that his Little Jamie didn't look anything like him or his namesake. No, Jamie had definitely inherited the red hair and freckles that would immediately identify him as a Weasley. _At least he has my eyes, _Harry often thought when he looked at his little boy. Harry suspected that in the future Jamie would tire of hearing from every person who crossed his path, 'You look so much like your mother, except for your eyes. You've got your father's eyes.'

They waited, and after what seemed like an eternity, a healer entered the waiting room and stopped short at the sight of all the red-heads in the room. With just a moment's hesitation he called out, "Mr. Potter?"

Harry's head snapped up and he rose from his chair quickly, Ron and Hermione copying his actions. Harry, with his friends on either side of him walked over to the healer. Glancing at Ron and Hermione, the healer began, "Mr. Potter, first off, we delivered the baby with no further complications. We're examining him further but we expect he can go home tomorrow."

Harry felt giddy with the relief that flooded him at those words. He reveled in the thought of bringing home another little boy. Hermione squeezed his shoulder as Ron clapped him on the back. Harry offered the healer a happy little smile which disappeared quickly.

"However, your wife…" the healer hesitated, "Her injuries were extensive. We tried everything, but… I am truly sorry, Mr. Potter."

Ron just managed to catch Harry before he fell to the ground as his knees gave out on him. He and Hermione brought him over to a chair, tears streaming down their faces. Harry tore loose from their grip and broke away from the circle of his family; they watched him apprehensively, unsure of what he was going to do. It seemed Harry had regained his strength. He ran down the hall and burst into the room where Ginny was. He went over to the table where his wife lay. They had cleaned the blood off of her face; she looked like she was sleeping.

Harry threw himself on her and sobbed over her unmoving frame. He stroked her hair as he cried, not noticing that most of his family had followed him into the room. George's wife, Angelina, was the first to stir. Tentatively she walked over to the heartbroken man and pried him away from the table. Harry turned in her arms and buried his head in her shoulder, weeping as she held him.

The sobs that racked his body subsided and Harry straightened, tears still running silently down his face, anguish in his eyes. Harry released his death grip on Angelina and turned slowly back to gaze upon his wife's lifeless form. He gently kissed her, pushing the hair out of her beautiful face.

"I'm so sorry, Gin."

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**A/N: So my original plan was to update both this story and Away from Here, but... I wrote the ENTIRE chapter for Away, and then read back over it... I liked the first half, but the second half made me cringe!! I didn't even bother sending it to Milly... I'm working on it now and it'll probably be up tomorrow... ^_^**

**Oh, yeah... Sorry for all of you Ginny lovers... I _do _like the Harry/Ginny - ness, but I didn't feel that was where my story was headed... yup... See you soon!! Please Review!!! You have NOOOOOOO idea how happy it makes me ^_^  
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	3. Not My Baby

**Disclaimer: The other night, when I was sleeping, I dreamt I was J.K. Rowling. But when I woke, I was mistaken. So I hung my head and I cried...**

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**Chapter Three: Not My Baby**

Harry turned back to his family, staring at them without seeing them, his normally bright eyes dulled with pain and loss. Angelina gently led Harry away from Ginny and towards the rest of the family. Arthur Weasley was trying to hold back tears at the loss of his daughter while tears ran openly down Molly's face. She reached out for Harry and pulled him to her chest. Harry felt numb and did not respond to his mother-in-law's embrace.

Ron was staring dry-eyed at the table that held his sister's body. He couldn't believe that she was gone. He had never imagined a world without her vibrant spirit. Even during the war he just could picture Ginny being killed. Hermione leaned her head on Ron's shoulder, trying to comfort him but not doing a very good job at it.

Harry stood in the circle of Weasley's in shock. He had stopped crying but in some way the numb and unresponsive Harry was worse than the inconsolable Harry. Nobody knew what to do so Angelina took charge again. Tentatively she took Harry's hand and gently pulled him towards the maternity ward. Harry followed without resistance.

Distantly, Harry was aware of that fact that he was in front of a large window overlooking a room full of babies. He was somewhat confused as to why he was there. He looked at Angelina who was still holding his hand. She smiled encouragingly at the window and Harry turned back to gaze through it.

Harry finally realized where he was and looked into the room. Harry immediately picked out his own son. It was a little miniature of him. The baby was scrawny, but then again, the boy was Harry's son. The sight of his son broke through Harry's defensive shell; tears flowed once more. This time, however, the sorrow was tinged with pure joy. Harry smiled fleetingly, and a nurse carried the baby up to the window. He turned, finding Jamie and Teddy standing behind him, too small to see into the window. Harry picked up both boys and pointed them towards the sleeping baby with a shock of raven hair. One could already see that it was going to be just as unmanageable as Harry's. Teddy and Jamie grinned at their new little brother, and then turned to Harry.

Harry almost lost it completely when he looked into Jamie's curious little face. _He looks so much like her…_ Down to the last freckle, Jamie was his mother's child.

He needed to tell them. They had to know that their mum… Harry looked around the room and caught Angelina's eye. She understood immediately. She led the three into an empty room and left them alone there.

Harry sat the boys down on an examination table and began pacing, unsure of where to begin, or if he would be able to tell them once he looked into their sweet and innocent faces. He considered going back out and making Hermione or Angelina tell them. No, no. That wouldn't be right. He would have to tell them. They deserved to hear from him that their mum…

Harry sat in a chair and motioned for his boys to join him. Teddy and Jamie jumped off the table and climbed into his lap once again. They stayed that way for a few minutes until Jamie opened his mouth, "Daddy? When can mum come home?"

Harry took a deep breath and looked the children in the eyes, "You need to know something… about mum. You see, mum, she had to…to go away. She can't come home with us and your new brother."

Tears leaked out of Harry's eyes and Jamie persisted. "When is she coming back, daddy?" Harry looked at his son helplessly.

"She's not," Teddy said quietly, not looking at either of them, "She went away like my parents, right dad?"

Harry nodded wordlessly at Teddy's understanding. Teddy shut his eyes tightly and slammed his head into Harry's shoulder. Harry could feel the boy's small body shaking with suppressed sobs. Teddy's black hair changed to a sickly gray.

Jamie looked between his father and brother uncomprehendingly. Because both Harry and Teddy—his heroes—were crying, his eyes, too, filled up with tears. Harry rubbed Teddy's back soothingly, looked straight into the eyes that were so much like his own, and said carefully, "Jamie, mum was really hurt when she got out of the car remember?" The boy nodded; Harry continued, "The healers tried really hard, but she just hurt so much that she had to go away, and now she can't come back. She didn't want to go, but it hurt so bad. You didn't want mummy to hurt right?"

Unexpectedly, the young boy's angelic face twisted with rage, tears of anger flowing freely down his cheeks. Jamie's face turned scarlet as Harry looked on in bewilderment. Jamie shouted, "NO! She still here! She wouldn't leave! You said that the healers would make her better! They should've made her not hurt! You said they would! No! No! NO! YOU LIED!" Jamie began pummeling his father with his tiny fists. Harry wrapped his arm around his son and pulled him close. Jamie struggled in his grip, then went limp and began to cry in earnest.

Harry, Teddy, and Jamie were left alone in the room. Arms wrapped around each other, crying together. Out in the hallway, Molly heard her grandson screaming in anger and obvious grief. Tears in her eyes, she rushed to the door to comfort him, but was caught by her husband. Furiously she rounded on him, but softened when she saw the tears standing in her Arthur's eyes. "Oh, Arthur. Not Ginny. Not my baby," she wailed as she collapsed into his arms. Arthur embraced his wife and kissed her on her head, his tears dampening her hair.

Bill and Fleur held little Victoire between them. Fleur wiped Bill's tears for his little sister while they flowed freely from her own eyes for the girl she had come to love as much as her own sister. Charlie was being filled in by a distraught George and Angelina. Charlie's face went deathly pale beneath his tan before he collapsed into a chair and buried his face in his hands. Percy stood off to the side looking lost, not sure how to express his grief. His girlfriend, Audrey, stood with him, feeling out of place amidst the overwhelming sadness of this large family. Ron was laying with his head on what little space there was on Hermione's lap. He was trembling, his face as white as a sheet. He looked as he had his second year at Hogwarts when he accidentally cursed himself to puke slugs. Hermione stroked her husband's flaming hair as she thought of Ginny, silently grieving her best friend, her sister-in-law, the Godmother of her unborn baby.

The three in the examination room had calmed. Jamie was asleep, Teddy pushed himself up, wiping his eyes. "Dad, can we go? I wanna go home. Please?" Harry nodded and stood up, Jamie in one arm, Teddy hanging on the other. They exited the room and found themselves in a sea of red hair. It was hard for Harry to look at them without thinking of Ginny. Teddy went over to George and held up his arms. George complied with his silent request, startled to see his nephew with gray hair and a pallid complexion. It made him look like a sickly old man in a boy's miniature body.

Harry went over to the information desk and asked to take his newborn son with him. The receptionist made a call and informed Harry that he and Jamie needed to be looked over, and then they could all go.

Harry was much worse off physically than Jamie. He had four broken ribs, one of which was dangerously close to puncturing his lung. He had scrapes that needed to be cleaned and bruises that would make it hard to move the next day. Harry also had a deep gash on his jaw that required stitches. Harry impatiently submitted to the healer's ministrations. Jamie's car seat had done its job well. He had nasty looking black and purple bruises on his chest where his restraints had held him in, but other than that Jamie was fine. The healer reduced the swelling and gave him and Harry a bottle of pain relieving potion. The slightly smaller family was released later that day.

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**A/N: Yes, I know. It's sad. It's also hard to add to Harry's already tragic life. He's had to deal with way too much. But I can't turn back now. All I can do is quote gramma Georgina from Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, "Things are going to get much better!" **

**P.S. I'm kinda having a little issue with Away From Here... Writer's Block sucks... I'm trying though... I'll get it up as soon as I finish it!!**


	4. Can I Sleep With You?

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was an Oregonian going to school in Virginia… So unless anything's changed… *crosses fingers hopefully***

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**Chapter Four: Can I Sleep With You?**

Molly convinced Harry to stay at the Burrow for a while. "At least until the funeral," she had said when he made to protest. Those words had killed any resistance he had left in him. Harry looked around Ron's old room as he placed his duffel bag on the bed. He had so many memories in this house, almost all of them good. But now, as he took in the sight of the familiar room, all he could think of was Ginny. There was no way he could stay longer than absolutely necessary.

Jamie and Teddy were downstairs where George was attempting to entertain them, leaving Harry free to unpack his belongings upstairs. There was only one thing that could make Harry smile at the moment, and he was napping, carefully cradled in Harry's arms. His son, Alexander, had been asleep since he had been brought home from the hospital, for which Harry was immensely grateful. He knew the silence wouldn't last, however. Harry knew Alexander would soon be awake and screaming soon, probably in the wee hours of the morning, too. That was why Teddy and Jamie were to sleep in Fred and George's old room, separate from Harry and Alexander.

Harry and Ginny had been talking about baby names since the day Ginny found out she was pregnant. Harry had to name the baby Colin Severus if it was a boy, in memory of two of the bravest people he had known, and Lily Luna if it was a girl. Ginny however, had balked at the thought of another son being named after two dead heroes. "James Sirius and Teddy Remus are bad enough," she had said. They bickered over it until one day Ginny and Harry were sitting on the sofa together, perusing the baby books, calling out random names to each other. They had been flipping through the A's when she and Harry yelped in surprise. Harry had had his arms wrapped around her middle when the baby kicked for the first time. Ginny read the last name again and was pleased when she got the same response. She had turned to face Harry again. Harry had smiled and kissed her saying, "Well, Alexander it is then."

Harry walked over to the little cradle Molly had provided for Alexander Severus; Harry had at least won that battle for his second name. Or rather, Ginny hadn't liked the sound of Alexander Ronald. Harry was about to lay the baby in the cradle, when Alexander began to stir. Harry gently rocked him, trying to lull him back to sleep. Alexander wriggled and blinked, opening his eyes. As the baby looked at his father for the first time, Harry stood frozen in shock. He had expected the bright blue irises of infants or, because Alexander looked so much like him, the sparkling emerald that he and Jamie shared. What he did not expect to see, gazing into the wide orbs of his son's face, was Ginny staring back at him. Alexander had the same warm, bright, chocolate brown eyes Harry had loved so much. Though he thought he was all cried out, this unexpected attack on his emotions brought tears to his eyes once more. Harry swallowed hard and kissed little Alexander—Xander—on the head and laid him in the crib. Wiping his eyes, Harry started downstairs to retrieved Jamie and Teddy bed.

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_Harry wandered through the dark halls of Hogwarts, his wand lit and out in front of him. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he had to get there before it was too late. He entered Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and opened the Chamber of Secrets like he had when he was twelve. Silently, Harry made his way quickly through the tunnels. He entered the Chamber and there was twelve year old Ginny lying motionless as she had all those years before. Harry looked around for Riddle's Diary but found none. He looked again at Ginny, but the girl was gone, replaced with the woman he had married and bore two of his children. She looked as she had when Harry had pulled her out of the car. He heard a strange noise… a siren, maybe? _

Harry woke with a start; he looked around for the source of the siren that had pulled him out of his distressful sleep. Then he realized it was his youngest son. Xander was crying. Harry stumbled clumsily over to the crib to quiet Xander. As Harry soothed the baby, he cast a slight warming charm on a bottle of formula and fed little Xander. Harry rocked him until the baby fell back to sleep. After returning Xander to his crib, Harry went back to his bed.

_Harry was walking through the grounds of Hogwarts. He saw destruction all around him and wondered why no one was stopping him in his stroll through the battlefield. Of course! He was wearing the invisibility cloak. Off in the distance, he saw Ginny dueling with Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix was firing curses like mad and taunting Ginny. Bellatrix aimed a killing curse at his wife, but, instead of missing like it had before, this time it hit Ginny square in the chest. Harry forgot all about confronting Voldemort as he saw Ginny fall backwards to the ground. He rushed over to her and saw that his wife's expression was not frozen in the shock and fear normally associated with the curse. She was mangled and bloodied as she was after the accident._

Again Harry was startled awake, but not by the cries of Alexander, but by a small, out of focus figure in the dark. Harry reached for his glasses. Teddy stood before him, his now white blonde hair sticking up at odd angles in an almost Harry-like fashion. Harry sat up and looked questioningly at Teddy.

"Had a nightmare," Teddy mumbled staring at his bare toes, "'Bout mum."

Harry reached over to the boy and pulled him into a tight hug. "Me too, mate. Come on. Nothing to be afraid of."

"Can I sleep with you, dad?"

Harry picked Teddy up and put him into the bed, tucking him in. As Harry was drifting off again, dreading the dream that was to come, he heard a sound, like a sob muffled by a pillow. He turned to Teddy and saw that the noise was just that. Gently, Harry turned the boy's face to look at his own. "What is it, Ted? The dream? D'you wanna talk about it."

Teddy buried his face in Harry's chest and said something unintelligible. Harry carefully pried him away and gave him a weak smile, "D'you want to try that once more, mate?"

Teddy sniffed and said, "'S my fault. I begged to go to Tori's to play. Shouldn't have gone. Selfish. 'M sorry, dad. Now I've lost _two_ mums and a dad. Don't wanna lose you, too." Teddy once again took refuge in Harry's chest. Harry shushed him.

"Listen, Teddy. It wasn't your fault. You weren't even in the car. There was a deer, Ted. I… I swerved… the roads were wet. We flipped and hit a tree. There was no way you could've prevented it. It wasn't you, Ted."

Teddy nodded into Harry's shirt, which was wet with the boy's tears. Harry held him there as Teddy calmed and drifted off into a fitful sleep. Harry added, half to himself, "No Ted, it wasn't your fault. It was mine."

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**A/N: There's chapter four, obviously… Yes, I feel bad, yet again, adding to Harry's pain… I know how much he's been through and that he has major guilt issues… But I'm not a fluff writer… Sorry. :-(**

**P.S. Sorry about the non-updated-ness of Away From Here, yet again. SOON!! I promise!! Milly is currently reading it over for me. She's the one who makes sure I don't jump ahead four or five chapters just because I want to write a different part of the story. :-)**

**Conversation:  
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**Milly: Mate? So Harry's a pirate? **

**Me: *seethes* It's a British thing!!!!!!!!!**

**Milly: *laughs hysterically at my anger*  
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	5. Of Dirigible Plums

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**...**I do not own the Potter-verse**... **Maybe if I repeat it enough, it won't hurt so badly... :-(**

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**Chapter Five: Dirigible Plums and Crumple-Horn Snorkacks**

A week later found the Potter's and Teddy outside a small church in Godric's Hallow. It was Ginny's funeral. She was to be buried next to his parents. The slow funeral march was being led from the church to the cemetery by Ginny's coffin. Ginny's brothers—Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, and long time friend, Neville Longbottom were the pall bearers.

Harry and his boys were dressed in their new dress robes, purchased by Molly sometime during the week. He just couldn't find it in himself to leave the house. He hadn't had a minute alone since the accident. Teddy had taken to following his father wherever he went, as if he was afraid to let him out of his sight for fear of losing Harry, too. Jamie walked around in sort of a daze. It was very disturbing because, before the accident, the energetic boy had not been able to sit still for five minutes at a time. Now Jamie spent hours wherever Xander happened to be, just sitting and watching his baby brother.

Harry, though he appreciated Molly very much, planned on moving his family out of the Burrow immediately after the funeral. He could hardly walk through the house without being painfully reminded of Ginny's absence. Nor could he bear the thought of going back to the house he and Ginny had lived since they were married. Harry was taking the boys to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, just until he found something else.

The reception was at the Burrow. Harry had not wanted to attend, but Hermione had grabbed up Alexander and taken him to the Burrow before Harry could protest. For the past week, Harry had been up multiple times in the night with a particularly fitful Alexander. He was woken by a frightened Teddy and tearful Jamie crawling into bed with him. Harry had finally abandoned putting the boys in a different room at bedtime and just tucked them in with him. They, at least, were able to sleep through the cries of Xander, and it saved Harry from being woken more than necessary. After enduring an hour of sympathy from well wishers at the reception, on top of a tiring week, Harry was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He just wanted to get away and be alone with his children. He couldn't handle being around any more people. Being married to the Chosen One had made Ginny quite famous; many of the mourners were just fans of Ginny and Harry. Most were hoping for the chance to meet the boy-who-lived and this angered Harry. He was upset and saddened that many of the people at the funeral and reception were star seekers and not truly sorry that his wife was…

Harry collapsed on to an old sofa in the living room. A petite, blonde, young woman spied him across the room. She had beautiful blue eyes that were slightly glazed over, giving her a dreamy look that she was rarely seen without. Luna Lovegood made her way over to him, unceremoniously flopping on to the sofa next to him. "Hello, Harry," she said dreamily. To anyone who didn't know her, it looked like Luna was unconcerned that one of her few dear friends had just died. However, Harry had been friends with her for years and could see the pain that she was trying to hide. The sparkle, ever-present in her bright blue eyes was dulled. She wasn't wearing her usual strange combination of clothing but plain, black, dress robes instead. She had also traded in her usual radish earrings for small gold studs. Harry wished she hadn't. Looking at her ears Harry said, "Where are those radish things you're always wearing?"

Luna shot him a small smile, fingering her ears. "You mean the dirigible plums. Well I thought they would be… inappropriate." Luna reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of radishes with golden hooks on the ends of them. She grinned sheepishly. "I keep them close by, you know, to ward off the wrackspurts."

Harry nodded, not bothering to ask what a wrackspurt was. "Ginny would want you to wear them," he said simply. Luna's smile widened and she promptly switched out the earrings. Harry nodded and went back to wondering when it would be alright to leave. "When are you going?" Luna asked, as if she had been reading his mind.

Harry looked sharply at her. "How did you know?" he asked curiously.

"Well, I would think it would be rather difficult staying in the house where Ginny grew up."

Harry sighed and nodded. "We're leaving as soon as we can get away. We're not going back to Godric's Hallow either, though. I'm taking the boys to Grimmauld place. Kreacher's getting it ready now."

Luna fiddled with her wand. "You can always come and stay with me, you know. I've moved out of the Rook House and my new home is quite lonely."

Harry looked at her dubiously, "No. That's alright. I don't want to put you out. I do have three boys now. It's quite a lot."

"Come off it, Harry," Luna said, uncharacteristically stern, "I know how much you hate that place. It will only be for a short while anyhow. Besides, I _did _offer. I know what I'm getting into." She added, back in her dreamy voice, "And I make an excellent pudding."

Harry hesitated, it was true. He did not like Grimmauld place. He couldn't be in it without thinking of Sirius, but it seemed like the lesser of two evils compared with the house in Godric's Hallow. He didn't have any desire to subject his children to that dreary house, but he couldn't impose on Luna. It wouldn't be right. However, she had said she was lonely.

Harry, sighing inwardly at the hopelessness of it all, said quietly, "Thank you, Luna. I really appreciate it."

Luna smiled and patted him on the knee. Getting up she said, "Whenever you're ready."

***

Luna led Harry up the stairs, towards the bedrooms. Everything in the house indicated that a Lovegood lived there. The ceiling was like the Great Hall at Hogwarts and was currently reflecting the clear night sky, pleasantly lit with the nearly full moon. It gave Harry a sense of being at home, though this sense didn't pain him. Even after years away from it, anything having to do with Hogwarts gave Harry a feeling of peace.

Luna had decorated the house with her own moving paintings of thestrals and, from her descriptions, what appeared to be a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. There were also very detailed paintings of himself, Hermione, Ron, Neville and—his heart sank—Ginny.

Harry looked at the moon and thought of Remus and all of the other people he had lost in his young life: Mum, Dad, Sirius, Dumbledore, even Moody and Snape, Fred, and now Ginny… Harry stopped that line of thinking before he started crying again. He did not want his kids to see him at it again. They were, understandably, having a hard enough time as it was.

Luna smiled brightly as she led Harry into the spare room. Inside there was a hide-a-bed with sheets and a comforter already on it. She had also set up two small cots with squashy purple sleeping bags, reminiscent of the ones Dumbledore had summoned for the students in his third year; the night Sirius had broken into the castle. There was also an old, wooden cradle in the corner of the tightly packed room. Luna saw Harry's eyes rest on the cradle and she smiled even brighter. "My father built that for me when I was born. I plan on using it when I have my own children. But your son can use it for now."

Luna's smile was so infectious that, despite himself, Harry felt the corners of his mouth turn up in a reluctant grin. "Thanks again, Luna. Really, I owe you. I did _not_ want to live in Sirius' place again."

Luna waved his thanks off and bid him goodnight. Harry was left with two very tired boys, asleep on their feet; Xander was already asleep in his cradle. Harry put Teddy and Jamie in pajamas and tucked them into their cots, knowing full well that they would both end up in his bed sometime in the night. Harry crawled in to bed and though he was exhausted, his mind would not let him rest. He had been having the same reoccurring nightmares about Ginny. Harry dreaded sleep in fear of the dreams. After lying awake for an hour he got up out of the bed and headed downstairs.

Luna was also awake and in the kitchen. She had a glass in front of her, filled with amber liquid. The bottle on the counter was labeled 'Firewhiskey.' She looked up as Harry entered the room. Her eyes followed him silently as Harry went to the cupboard, pulled out a glass, and walked back to Luna. Wordlessly, she poured the drink into his glass. Harry tipped it back, grimacing as the burning liquid seared his throat. He put the empty glass back on the counter and motioned for Luna to pour him another one. Eying him carefully, Luna once again filled his glass.

Harry lifted the glass to his lips but did not drink. He sighed and lowered the glass back to the counter. Harry put his head in his hands and took a shuttering breath. He felt Luna move around behind him and put a hand on his back. They stayed that way for quite some time while Harry quietly cried for his wife. Finally, Harry's tears stopped and he straightened up. He turned and looked at Luna to see tears running down her face as well. Harry hugged her tightly and she returned his hug fiercely. The embrace was interrupted by frantic footsteps on the stairs. They broke apart as a distraught Teddy skidded to a halt in the kitchen. He threw himself at Harry who caught him up. Nodding to Luna, Harry carried Teddy back up the stairs whispering soothing words to him. Luna sighed and picked up Harry's abandoned glass. Turning it idly in her hands, she finally tipped it back. She left the empty glass in the sink and extinguished the lights with a wave her wand as she headed toward her own room.

***

Harry put Teddy in the bed next to him, worrying at the separation issues the boy was having. What would happen when Harry went back to work? Hopefully Teddy would get over his anxiety soon, but he had lost a lot of parents in his lifetime. Harry hoped, too, that Jamie would bounce back and become the hyper, trouble-making four year old that he once was. Harry was getting drowsy, the firewhiskey was working almost as well as a dreamless sleep potion.

* * *

**O MY GOODNESS!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOO sorry everyone!! It's been hectic on my end with Thanksgiving and Finals coming up!! I'm SOOOO stressed!! Thanks for hanging in there with me!!! The next update for this story will be in a week or so, longer for Away From Here... Sorry again!! I'll try to do better!!!**


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